Hypothetically Speaking.

1. You have the opportunity to go back in time and stop yourself from hooking up from anyone you’ve ever hooked up with. How many of these hook ups do you stop yourself from?

2. What would be worse: people thinking you’re a flaming homosexual or people thinking you’re dating a morbidly obese person?

3. If you could sacrifice 25% of your intelligence to be 100% more in shape, would you do it? (You won’t lose your fitness by not working out)

4. Take the person you are most attracted to (celebrity, friend, cousin, whatever). Now let’s say this person looks exactly the same as they do now, but they are mentally retarded. You have the opportunity to have sex with this person. Do you do it?

5. What is your threshold for the number of friends a potential hook-up has hooked up with before you can no longer entertain the thought of hooking up with this person?

6. Would you rather be guaranteed a date with a different person every week for the next 2 years knowing none of them would ever call you back or just take you chances on your own?

7. If you were blind would you marry a person you liked and everyone said was one of the most beautiful people they’ve ever met (they aren’t lying) but their voice sounded like Gilbert Gottfried?

8. Could you work as a low level Wal-Mart employee if you were paid $150,000 a year? If you tell anyone you make more than minimum wage, you are fired.

9. You are in a car with no air conditioning and it is 107 degrees Fahrenheit outside. In order to roll your windows down, you have to blast Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” on repeat as long as your windows are down. You will be in city traffic for 2 hours. What do you do?

10. If it turned out every song ever written by your favorite band were metaphors for incest, would you still listen to their music?

11. Say you have a DVR/Tivo that can only record one show at a time. You are going to a brother/sister’s wedding and there are 3 things on tv during the wedding you want to see: the series finale of your favorite tv show, your favorite sports team playing in a national title game, or the announcement of lottery numbers for which you have a ticket. You have a 1 in 10 chance of winning $10 million from the lottery. Which will you record? (You can hear about the game or show later but never can you watch them if you don’t record them, and you can hear whether your numbers came up, but you won’t be able claim the money unless you watch the show yourself)

12. Would you rather author a critically acclaimed novel under a penname for which you can never take credit for or write a book under your own name that is blasted by critics but is equally successful commercially as the first book?

13. Imagine the FCC censored you life. If your friend said “fuck you” you would hear “*beep* you” while everyone else heard the uncensored version. When you saw someone naked (or yourself) their genitalia would be blurred out. To uncensor your life, you have to pay $20 a day (about $7000 a year). Once you sign up for this, you have to pay every day for the rest of your life and can only sign up the day you become censored. What do you do?

14. Imagine it were discovered that all pro sports were like pro wrestling—everything was predetermined and set up. Some of the plays and occurrences in the games would be spontaneous, but the outcomes of the games themselves were already set. Would you continue to watch sports?

15. Imagine you meet your alleged soul mate. This person is perfect for you in every way and you fall for each other head over heels. The morning of your wedding after 3 years of a serious relationship, your spouse to be confesses they had a sex change 5 years ago. What do you do? This person also plans to tell all of her friends and family and yours too after the wedding, since they won’t need to hide it anymore on account of having a loving spouse.

16. Imagine you could see what your life would be like if for the first 25 years of your life you had worked as hard as you could at everything (school, jobs, relationships, etc.) You are age 30 when you get this opportunity. Would you want to see this or decline the offer?